We’ll break out the indie rock and dance in our seats at red lights like life was brand new.

Posted on September 16, 2007


Days like these are some of the most beautiful to me; the crisp, first days of Fall where I leave my windows open on purpose just so I need my sweatshirt even more. The days where I want to dance to every dance to every song I hear and for once I don’t turn down my music when I’m sitting at red lights. Where I am so incredibly happy to spend a half hour on the roads I do on my way to and from church just because of how pretty they are just as they’re leaves start shaking and going pale. “Maybe it’s just me, but the air seems so much more clear in the fall.”

Recently there was such a drastic change in my life, and that’s not so uncommon but it’s uncommon because of how I’ve done almost a complete 180 degree turn. Where before I was closing doors inside myself and turning off bits and pieces of my personality, I am finally awake and opening the doors and I am at Life’s heels every morning. Maybe I was asleep for eight months? I don’t regret a moment of it and there is no anger or loathing leftover, but I feel so much more alive right now than I ever have in my entire life.

Whether it’s dancing alone in my kitchen to “Dear Las Vegas” by De Capulet, drinking the first cider of the season, shrinking down to my chair in church to block out a song while my heart was thumping, sitting in a small basement clapping along with the rest of the audience while we watched the artist play his guitar ten feet in front of us, singing Paramore while driving with friends to get stir-fry, being educated on sushi and how to use chopsticks by two of my coworkers, winning a game of bowling with a score of 86 by one point, letting go of balloons in a parking lot, waking up easily and going into work early while it’s still quiet, laughing with my sister during several-hour conversations, riding a recumbent bike for the first time and feeling like a child because of how I had to learn how to balance all over again, ducking out into the rain after hugs and a concert, eating cream of wheat with a close friend at midnight, or clicking with someone you met five minutes ago that you know you were supposed to meet for some reason…

I’ve discovered that there is so much life.

I feel alive.

And the best part?

This is only the beginning.