Posted on November 6, 2008


It’s summer in the fall this week.

The painted and dying leaves sound as sharp as ever and the sun is heating the ground in the afternoons.

Someone told me in a diagram scribbled on the paper covering the table at the steakhouse we went to that I deal with people like mathematics.

It’s not that I’m an unemotive person. My writing should speak for itself in that regard. But, I do tend to figure out the way people work very quickly and automatically assimilate in social situations.

Last night at dinner I was speaking in ratios, variables, qualifiers, and quantifications.

…About relationships.

Once my dear friend pointed out my mathematical approach, I knew he was right. After thinking about it all day I’m almost disturbed.

But there are these few relationships scattered in the corners of my life that I cannot predict. I honestly have no idea what is going to come out of their mouth at any given moment. I can’t see their behavior coming from miles way, and I can’t read their thought processes like books.

I received a text message today in the middle of business class. It read:

“It’s a Girl.”

Those three words changed the tone of the rest of my day. Even though I couldn’t be happier for you, I was hit in the fact with the fact that there has been incalcuable distance put between you and I.

There was a lot we never talked about.

And that would be the reason for the lurch in my stomach that I can’t seem to get rid of.

Half of the equation was left under the table. I wish I could have ducked under the counter to see the pieces of gummy emotion stuck to the wood because that would have explained a lot.

And there I go talking numbers again.

In these situations I can rely on numbers and equations. That lurch in my stomach is unexpected, so I compensate by pretending you are one more player in the math tournament.

So, forgive me if I don’t respond to your text just yet.

Posted in: people