Mathematics

Posted on November 6, 2008

6


It’s summer in the fall this week.

The painted and dying leaves sound as sharp as ever and the sun is heating the ground in the afternoons.

Someone told me in a diagram scribbled on the paper covering the table at the steakhouse we went to that I deal with people like mathematics.

It’s not that I’m an unemotive person. My writing should speak for itself in that regard. But, I do tend to figure out the way people work very quickly and automatically assimilate in social situations.

Last night at dinner I was speaking in ratios, variables, qualifiers, and quantifications.

…About relationships.

Once my dear friend pointed out my mathematical approach, I knew he was right. After thinking about it all day I’m almost disturbed.

But there are these few relationships scattered in the corners of my life that I cannot predict. I honestly have no idea what is going to come out of their mouth at any given moment. I can’t see their behavior coming from miles way, and I can’t read their thought processes like books.

I received a text message today in the middle of business class. It read:

“It’s a Girl.”

Those three words changed the tone of the rest of my day. Even though I couldn’t be happier for you, I was hit in the fact with the fact that there has been incalcuable distance put between you and I.

There was a lot we never talked about.

And that would be the reason for the lurch in my stomach that I can’t seem to get rid of.

Half of the equation was left under the table. I wish I could have ducked under the counter to see the pieces of gummy emotion stuck to the wood because that would have explained a lot.

And there I go talking numbers again.

In these situations I can rely on numbers and equations. That lurch in my stomach is unexpected, so I compensate by pretending you are one more player in the math tournament.

So, forgive me if I don’t respond to your text just yet.

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Posted in: people