I was in my boss’s office waiting for him to finish cleaning the camera so I could go take some shots of our newest employees. He asked how I was, and I went through with my explanation, and then said something like, “I’m trying not to overthink and just work my way through each week, until…” I trailed off. That thought came out before it had completed itself in my head. Either that, or the “until” was some kind of Freudian slip. At any rate, my boss said, “Until what?”
And I suppose that’s my most recent question. I fumbled my way through another half sentence before starting off with a new thought.
I’ll lay this question here and return back to it when I can allow myself more thinking space.
My cousin goes to Virginia Tech. Since he lives on campus he would have been there during the shooting. He’s alright, but it’s still hard for me to relax. In a way it’s hard for me to comprehend what happened at VT. The shock, the idea is numbing. It’s horrifying. If I show up to my college one of these days and find it hard to be there, I’ll have an inkling as to why.
One of my best friends from my home state was working at the mall when a shooting broke out in the store she was working at. This happened a few months ago. I don’t understand it. Maybe we are all part of some intricate nightmare in someone’s head. Obviously that’s not the case, but it’s a hard thought to get away from when things like what happened at Virginia Tech happen and enter the concious brain.
At any rate, all I can do is pray. And really, there are more people to pray for than just those at Virginia Tech. The house of cards is falling. Who knows what the true effect of this will be. Pray.
Soul Like a Spider 
Emily
April 18, 2007
Do I know your cousin?
I love you.
(Sorry for the lack of response. I’m just not eloquent enough to spit it out…)